Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Recap, Season 1 Episode 6

Can you hear that? Gently tapping on Lisa’s gel manicure opens and closes Gmail while her husband lets her sleep nearby? The light rust of Meredith going around in the same Halloween witch costume I wore every year between the ages of 6 and 16? The sloppy gurgle of the washing machine Heather pouring her daughter’s oatmeal all over the Pottery Barn restaurant from her first marriage? Hear it or not, these are glamorous sounds as the most amazing time of the year enters Salt Lake City. This is Sundance bay-beeee season !!!!!!

Accordingly, Jen is skating a roller around Shah Squad ‘s Marketing office. I wonder? It’s a real office with a real desktop and real SSM-branded credentials, but Google tells me this business doesn’t exist. People need more information on the details of the “empire” referred to in the notebooks of the novel “just a girl building her empire”! Anyway, first assistant Stuart promises not to get trash this year and will tell everyone that he is a rapper named Stu Chains. Instead, he will help design the VIP party that Jen is hosting for the filmmaker ‘s cousin, Tony. It’s a bit confusing because we were previously led to believe that Lisa (remember – LISA = L.ost guth, tequila, sad husband) is the Queen of Sundance, not Jen.

Desiring to assert her title, Ms. Barlow actually spends much of the program running around town showing us how the Sundance sausage is made. And by sausage, I mean physical events with a loose theme with a lot of faux-peeling poufs and stool for rent from HomeGoods. The interior design bar for the LDS version of “Favorite Ones” remains something that anyone with access to navy paint and a shitload of taupe furniture can jump over with aplomb. A little unrelated – John rubs his neck for a few minutes, as it turns out that Andy Cohen is now making a confession to anyone with a blow.

Over at Whitney ‘s house, Stuart leaves Jen for a hot tub playdate so she can teach us a thing or two about repairing fur, pasties, animal print, and politeness in the same look. The women talk about plans for Whitney’s husband’s birthday the next day, as nothing says “thank you for sacrificing your standing in church and your relationship with your children to be together to me ”as a 40-minute party bus ride! Jen tries to repeat the Met Gala lunch again to check out Mary’s possible drama, but Whitney closes that faster than you can tell. sweeeenghur. I wish I was as committed to anything on this earth as Whitney is to defending dramaless holiness from trying to catch a frenzy.

The next day, Whitney and friends slurp tequila out of each other’s belly buttons, while Mary pulls back the curtain on more chaotic fun facts. Just as Mary asks her housewife, Charlinda, what pair of six-inch plush stilettos do they need, she releases an interesting little lump: She and Charlinda are nowhere near ALL despite the fact that Charlinda is the daughter of her grandmother’s brother and has been with her for 20-something, ever since she came over to give Robert a gift, she fell in love, and never she left. No explanation is given, and Heather immediately calls in how Mary feels about Jen’s situation. Can you even imagine that you can pick and choose Mary Cosby’s FaceTime without asking questions like whether her housewife wears scratches by choice or is her grandmother upstairs, Sine Eyre– style, or how these decimals work from a tax point of view, or in fact anything more than, “So what about Jen?”

Against everyone ‘s wishes, we have to do the Mary and Jen thing again, which is honestly an obstacle as Justin’ s party looks a bit fun for anyone down with the general concept of a DJ playing in someone’s living room. Mary soaks up the sea of ​​woo and bright sweets to pass on the show aura of Stevie Nicks-at-the-1986-Chanel to Jen. They get into it, and the only new news here is that Jen is completely lying about whether she said the grandpa-fucker thing. Mary then questions Jen, saying that she is “a truthful person. ”I can’t help but feel the bottom of a rock of mind being challenged by Mary Cosby about aspects of reality, but alas, Jen holds her ground, and from there, they are somehow moving on. A loud cry out to your highest favorite power, and a further prayer that we shall never hear of this again.

Back in the light of day, Meredith draws a look from her jewelry store for (THE. FIRST. EVER) Park City Fashion Week, where she walks in and Brooks shows off her anonymous line. It feels like a lot of freedom is being taken here in terms of “fashion” and “line,” but as someone who has spent the same foundation of SmartWool for six days in a row, who am I to be judge typing your name in Arial Bold and throwing it on some black sweatshirts makes you a fashion designer? Either way, Seth won’t sit at the start of Brooks ’start, because the sale whales in Ohio don’t run after themselves! I thought of my ruin.

In other “kids can take care of themselves” news, Lisa’s spawn goes down some of Buffalo’s Wild Wings with the nurse while the mother puts on the most amazing event she’s ever had. It’s pretty much Applebee empty with walls off, a bunch of free TV, and a complete lack of speculation because … it’s open to the public. Hopefully Lisa is insured on that Sundance Queen crown because it looks like a whole lotta hyperbole.

At a real Applebee (just joking, it’s Punch Bowl Social), Heather and Whitney grab cocktails down and go about their love life. Heather Whitney has been seen climbing all over her husband and she realizes that she also wants someone who will give her unparalleled love to be on her own. Here’s hoping Heather’s retelling of “having spent 15 years of my life marrying a pioneer descendant” diatribe ends in a sort of glorious loose arc. As, of course, I’d love to see her find a man who animates with her (she’s fun and funny!), But more importantly, my mind’s eye paints a picture of her ex as a pianist cunning and “social justice” is my hero’s favorite choice, ”and I would Men in black sleep that from my skull as fast as possible. Either way, Whitney asks Heather to stop making excuses and she’s confident that Heather’s fairy tale is possible. That fairy tale is simply “find a sex-loving man who was raised outside of Utah,” and someone try to get this vaccine posthaste.

Above it at Shah Chalet, the curtains with beads were hung, the carpet was laid under Walmart EZ Up, and the VIP party for Jen’s cousin film has begun. The people of Salt Lake City are not ordinary people; according to Heather, Sundance brings pressure to life. Brush with flexibility. Brush with fun. Brush with LALA KENT AND KATIE MALONEY SCHWARTZ. They’re both back in town to release a film Lala was with Mischa Barton, the man with the hair from Strange things, and Ariana Grande ‘s brother. Glad to see Randall still catering to that A-list lifestyle for his boo-thing.

Lala and Katie advise Heather that can be summed up with “get laid,” and I need to see more from them to justify a permanent crossover from failure. Vanderpump Rules. Lala comes with a new baby, a rather strange (though not neckless) husband, and a bucket of sobriety experience to support Whitney. So on second thought, let’s take it. But the world doesn’t need to see another second of Katie and Schwartz’s relationship-full reflection. Seth has covered that plot point well, thank you. Anyway, Heather is dating an elegant man named Curtis after a few bans on the AV system. Sometimes dreams come true.

Over in Park City, Brooks is rooting through a bunch of paper bags for diversifying white polyco-blend Costco calf socks that will complete his outfit. As he peels off the last face mask detritus from his high lips, the devil descends on Marks’ home. The smoke alarm goes off. The toilet spits Satan’s shit water all over the greige carpet. The ghost of Émile Camuset takes full possession of the dog – stealing the lint roller, dropping turds, causing any ruckus and everything to close this fashion show. But with Meredith’s grace, Brooks emerges up to the center 45 minutes late, just in time to shout out nepotism and watch a video of a father doing Dr. Suess’s cosplay from a Regional Airport baggage claim Akron-Canton: “Your mountain is waiting / Today is your day / You’ve gone to great places / So get on your fucking path.” INSPIRED.

See you next week to take a look at Bumble’s account of Meredith’s blazer collection!