Things are getting worse in Salt Lake City. I would like not to take a second to admit that the only Sarah who struggled to cut an apple while giving Whitney terrible advice in last week ‘s program was to attend the Capitol the other day. I have no statement that will fit in my word count beyond “fucking fucking yikes. ”And that’s exactly what’s going on outside of the show. A not-so-dark flavor of Bravo’s darkness also tends to tease him RHOSLC. You know what I’m talking about – when the women split into two groups and all the drama quickly turns to “she said you said that grandpa’s cousin’s cousin said… ”Is free.
Whitney did not slip down an ocean of white Top Golf house in an attempt to get this show on the road so we would still be in the same loop he said. It’s too early in this potential gold mine for this to happen! Bring in men for Heather! The horned members Spin-off Shah Squad into Vanderpump Rules-esque romp! Give us anything that women near Q-Anon don’t fall over their Restylane as they repeat the same hearsay for six straight events! Anything! The bar is so low!
That is not happening this week, however. We’ve seen the previews, and Jen’s volunteer face is ripe and ready for much of the same drama, Chekhov’s proverbial gun shining around in her cold, dark room. Hopefully this is something “it’s always dark before morning”.
Anyway, Whitney and Heather sit down with a spool of ribbon and some Red Hots to reassure each other that Whitney’s shit transfer efforts weren’t in vain. Whitney maintains that she had good intentions and that everyone else put in the cause was a major failure. Heather is similar lol k then gives a slightly sharper analysis of the situation, specifically that Jen ‘s lack of anger towards Lisa and Meredith may suggest that she is looking to retain her place in Utah’s high echelon with more intrusion with those brunette couples. It is a strong opinion. And maybe why Whitney and Heather are making a loose plan to talk to Jen more. What could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile, Meredith and Lisa get their men to accept what went down at Sharrieff ‘s party because we’ve somehow filled this program. Seth says he “can’t even understand” in the hope that the conversation will end before Meredith is too tired for his goggle play on the album. As Lisa goes on about Whitney dancing and as if she were Jen, she would have thrown the glass too, John says nothing at all. During his daily productivity product reviews, he received some feedback that it is unwise to challenge his supervisor in any way. The key is both a 1.5% merit build and a quiet eternal marriage!
Over on the A&E show Responsibilities, Mary ‘s clothes playing with her housewife, Charlinda. Bonkers finance is second to none, I remain concerned about the logistics of the Cosby empire. If Mary really has “five houses” money, why doesn’t she have a place to call these women Prepare the home to really make up? Or at least in the spring for the usual IKEA wardrobe system to create some order in the Saks Off Fifth performance center she calls a bedroom? But then again, that’s me trying to apply Ms Cosby’s lethal logic – a fruitless exercise. Just as Charlinda shouts for surgery on a belt locked around Mary ‘s torso, Whitney calls a statement stating that her birthday party mission did not go exactly as planned. Mary says that she would not even have chosen Sharrieff ‘s soiree as the place to debate but that Whitney should call on Jen to discuss further and that she is praying for her. These prayers might be more appropriate for a petition to God for the opportunity to film anywhere other than her bedroom, but I am not the one with a church empire, as that’s what I know?
To stretch our brains beyond their limits, Bravo puts Meredith and Lisa (and their men) on a double date to put down some burrata while wearing matching clothes. I would say that my brunette white woman face recognition abilities are above average, and between the Balmain blazers, the doppelgänger techniques, and the almost identical high moral horses, it was a real doozy for the brain agam goo. Anyway, Meredith ‘s big news is not big news: She and Seth are officially back together. The big news is that Lisa is slipping the ten-dollar word “sophomoric” into a sharp conversation to describe Whitney. Could she study for the LSAT !? Grad school seems like a move for someone with a fat stack of money and a masochistic love of work. Plus, maybe she’ll get a power bob and start wearing glasses to separate herself further from Meredith? We can only hope.
Finally, the time will come to see the spring hot tub that has been watched for the past two months. Whitney, solemn and fully armed with the true mediation skills she has acquired from years of dealing with her father, plans a four-hour zen retreat in the middle of nowhere to avoid running Jen away. The feeling is great, but girl, put to death! Jen has at least five helpers and a full-time glam squad, so the baby you’re looking for is “kids camping for free by buying four (4) essential oils . ”But they’ve done it this far, so Jen climbs a hill, keeps her shoes on in the tub, then cries a lot about how upset they are that her marrying on the rocks before threatening to drown Whitney, making a huge splish shower on the cameras, and stopping away.
Completely under the threat of death, Whitney and Heather force Jen to get back in the tub before Heather is vulnerable as hell. She states that she is afraid that Jen cares more about running Lisa / Meredith ‘s clout than their relationship and that she is afraid of losing her and that she is afraid of coming to Jen after a lifetime of abandonment of dishonesty. They all make up, and Jen makes sure the gals can come to her about anything (yeah, sure, okay). As it features “Who is Jen Jen afraid of?” the case is closed, the biggest question remains: “What does Jen look like outside the camera? ”Heather seems to be a good judge of character, and if she wants to be friends, there are some redeeming qualities. Crossing a finger we will see more of that and less of everything else that will bring Jen to the table in the future.
In the meantime, Lisa has taken it upon herself to host a mix of Vida Tequila’s winning event / season two “friends” of gauntlet throwing. She invites a handful of “powerful women who don’t throw glasses or punches” to drive their G-Wagons to yogurt for dinner with the support of GIRL POWER Barlow. They live, they laugh, they love it, and I look forward to doing some investigative journalism on Ashley, Angie, and Vanessa in case they show up in season two (if that even happens). Look at this place.
With just a few minutes left, Jen’s free face is back (Is this the only movie? The timeline makes no sense) to make up with Sharrieff. They have the most heartfelt conversation Shah Chalet has ever seen, getting real about anger, insult, self-medication, sadness, etcetera. While Sharrieff just doesn’t make it clear how he’s going to be more present, damn my good guy has said the exact right things in a voice that deserves ASMR. Maybe he can quit his coaching job and get a gig whistling “I love you so much, baby. I love you, my whole heart. Forever ”into one of those big floral microphones. If Nick Viall can put a Calm app bed-bed story on VO money, Sharrieff certainly has this in his bag. Someone, anyone, make it happen, for the sake of Jen and us. Anyway, see ya next week for MORE GIRLS TO VEGGAAASSSSS.