Flora Gill (pictured) says she sees every little part of her partner make her bigger
NO
By Flora Gill
Recently, I asked the boyfriend what he wanted to do for his birthday this year. Locking down limits the options, but he seemed to have thought about it: ‘I want to swing your legs. ‘
I’m not sure which driving force was greatest: puzzling me my gaze about Mr. Tumnus or the joy of seeing me squirm and squirm with every tear.
Actress Kyra Sedgwick has revealed that she went a step further and asked my husband Kevin Bacon to wave her bikini line, and although my boyfriend and I have not been working on it that land yet, I see no reason not to be.
The most obvious benefit of listing your partner’s beauty skills is that it is helpful. Hair removal can be hard, hard work – especially when you can’t see clearly what you’re doing – so an extra hand is always welcome.
But the No. 1 reason I affirm this unlikely pairing activity is that it has at least something to do!
Activities are fragile, mentally limited and repetitive. This, at least, would be attractive as hell.
An obscure alliance of scalding wax, unfamiliar hands and private parts feels disastrous, but I am now so bored of locking that I get moments from being a full teenager and taking scratches myself with safety pins, and a tattoo with a permanent mark. Surely a little wax couldn’t hurt?
In fact, there is a long list of things I never thought I would do with my pre-pandemic partner, but the rules have changed. I never expected to fight who went to the supermarket to buy a cleaning machine, or cry when he painted nail money out of misery instead of letting me do them. And I never thought I’d put on the coldest dress for eating breakfast in front of the TV.
Some people may argue that bikini wax is just too unusual an act to inflict on your other half, but my partner and I have seen the smallest parts of each other and it doesn’t. making me just do more for him.
It’s sexy to be completely comfortable together
It has held my hair back because I was sick and has given me comfort through the worst of stomach upsets on vacation. There is something sexy about being completely comfortable with each other.
Who knows how long this lock will last, but if, in the end, the longest thing you have done is by letting your partner try to remove cleaner area hair, i think you have done well.
Although, judging by the condition of my feet, don’t expect a very slippery finish. At least there is no one but him to see.
YES
By Hannah Betts
Hannah Betts (pictured) prefers to rule a mystery
As locks go down later where the groom is worried, actress Kyra Sedgwick has admitted that she asked her three-decade-old husband, Kevin Bacon, the bikini line reduce her.
The 55-year-old said: ‘Kevin, by the way, is very helpful. He’s really good at a lot of things. . . So we both figured out, ‘how difficult could it be?’
The upshot: disaster. Looking at the dodgy mustache that Kevin is currently sporting, I can’t believe she never considered it in any way with topiary ability.
What a schoolgirl’s mistake for making an old-fashioned woman.
I admit, I once sent out an ex to learn blow-drying techniques with the legendary Nicky Clarke. However, these days, I prefer to be in charge of such methods.
To be sure, my partner Terence may be boasting a particularly decorative taste: he went to the School of Fine Slade Art, after all. But it’s also famous for slapdash, always leaving a trail of debris behind. If he cut my hair, I would lose sight. Put it over my bikini line and I would never walk again.
More to the point, I prefer to keep these arcane mysteries to myself. A flat companion once said that I am a ‘facçade of femininity’ while she watched me color my eyes.
My boyfriend is not my angry couple. Keep it a secret
I keep my hands (perfectly manicured) up. I am not a natural observer, and I have no problem using every unnatural device in the book.
I’m not the type of woman to blow the bag in full shape, as Charlotte Tilbury is famous for, but I have a whole range of hand slides: from exfoliation through epilation to my new, high-tech tech LED Salon Boost Light Face Mask, which makes me look like a robot. I always lighten or darken something, or borrow another feature a little zhuzh.
Not only is Terence not allowed to engage in any marriage activity, he is not even going to know about them.
Instead, if it knocks on my door, I scream: ‘Privacy! ‘and he knows not to campaign inside. Similarly, I’ve made it clear that I don’t want a ‘farting relationship’ (for him, not me, obviously; I’m fragrant forever).
I will never leave the door open while it looks bigger. He’s my boyfriend, not my angry twin.
Maintaining this element of secrecy has never been more important than at a time of lockdown, when the experience of breeding is despicable. Besides, how else should one be away on a long winter evening than by working on female wives?