I only spent an hour with Apple’s support team and now I need a drink

This will take a lot of patience.

/ Getty Images

I have been very lucky with my Apple devices over the years.

more technically incorrect

They were rarely the source of a catastrophe. Well, except for the time when I enjoyed the butterfly keyboard on my MacBook Air – and I didn’t.

Oh, and then there was the time that my iPhone would not charge and Apple Genius told me that my charging method was faulty.

But with so many people engaged at home all day – and at night – trust in our machines may never have been worse.

So I decided to spend some time looking at the Apple Twitter feed support. What problems did people have? How did they express themselves?

After an hour or more of scrutiny and scrolling, it’s easy to believe that Apple devices aren’t too good. Until you remember that there are billions of them out there now, somewhere.

However, there is something useful in seeing the breadth of the real issue.

Especially when it’s cold.

Example from a customer: “Why are iPhones so sensitive to cold? Why doesn’t @Apple fix this? My phone’s battery went flat and the phone shut itself down when I came in today. It’s just -5 Centigrade. ”

The response from Apple Support was a bit cold: “Use iOS devices where the ambient temperature is between 0 degrees and 35 degrees C (32 degrees to 95 degrees F). Low or high temperature settings may cause the device to change to regulate its temperature. ”

Feelings can run very high. A customer named Dominic, who claims to be a spell bee hero, added: “My AirPods are rubbish now they’re not loud anymore.

As if realizing he might be feeling unstable, he put on a follow-up device: “Sidebar. I left them in my car last night, would the cold have anything to do to measure them to implement? Plz Help @AppleSupport. ”

Word of advice. Don’t call someone and then ask for help. That is definitely the wrong order.

Angry, Meet for help. Or meet a robot?

Aggression seems to be an essential means of communication of many customers. Risks too.

A customer was disappointed that the battery of his iPhone 11 only lasted six hours. He tweeted: “I DON’T PHONE WORKING ANYMORE .. yo whag [sic] if I sue apple … @ Apple here you are? ”

Oh, I think Apple lawyers are very familiar with the claim.

It wasn’t just iPhones that bothered people. “@AppleSupport my macbook on 2020 will not turn on. he has been doing this for over an hour. what should i do? i bought it in lol november. ”

Lol very reasonable in the circumstances, I felt.

The list of accused’s lies was extensive.

“It’s unbelievable that I can’t update an expiration date for a card on file with Apple. I can’t even remove and replace the card. It’s so sad!” Screamed one customer.

Some are not sure who was to blame: “@ Apple @ AppleSupport has just updated iPhone 7 to iOS 14.4 and it holds back and can’t use @Verizon cell data. Is this a way to get me update my phone. WTH @VZWSupport. ”

For some, their phone rang quietly. One man asked: “Why did my iPhone 7 just surprise me through the torch on the back.”

For others, Apple Music didn’t work. And the number of people complaining about Big Sur, if they jumped at the same time on High Sur 101 at Big Sur, would have taken the road down to the ocean. (That happened without them – Ed.)

There was a MacBook that would not connect to Wi-Fi and an iPhone 12 Pro Max with a flash that turned orange on front photos. IOS 14.5 seemed to cause CarPlay not to play one.

There were customers who went to a real language. Well, it’s easier to be crazy on Twitter, than face to face, isn’t it? Example: “Apple and AT&T have to come together and figure out that they’re running my money for this shitty 12 Pro ass.”

Somehow, though, I couldn’t find any real correlation between language and Apple without responding.

There were customers who went to very bad grades: “Sample:” I lose the will to live in getting an issue No 101318982224 resolved. 3 hours online and 4 hours on the phone talking to 6 different advisors and still uncorrected. Inappropriate service. ”

And: “I bought 2TB of storage and my problems are still not gone. @Apple Do you want me to die?”

I feel like Apple wants you to live and spend more money on other Apple products, really. I wasn’t so sure, though, whether the answers came from humans or robots. Many felt formulaic robots.

For example: “We’ll be happy to help. What error message are you getting directly? Send us a DM and we can continue to help there.”

Or: “We’d like to help with the performance of the Apple News app! What version of device and operating system are you currently using? Let us know in Direct Messaging and we’ll be happy to look into this with you. ”

No, those are people, right?

The more I looked, the more I needed a pacifier. A glass of something without a drink, perhaps.

If I needed a pacifier, I can’t imagine what people on the other end need to think and feel. They are real people, right? It’s not always that easy to tell.

For all the responses felt completely done, there were several that were not at all similar.

Here’s to a customer with keyboard issues: “Thanks for reaching out! We’re sorry to hear this has happened again. Without a keyboard, our computers are partially great without value. ”

But I thought Apple products always had great resale value.

Or here’s to someone who won’t turn on their computer after upgrading to Big Sur: “Hey there, Solomon! Thanks for connecting with us! It’s much more useful when we can power it up.”

You see? Dry flight.

How much can one person suffer at one time?

I asked Apple how many people work on the Twitter Support team. I also asked how long each movement is. I failed to get a response, from a human or a robot.

So I backed up Apple ‘s DM’d and asked: If I had a problem with my Mac, would anyone really respond? I got a quick response: “Sure, it’s just people on the other side of the DM! We’re really here and always happy to help.”

As for how they can accept the customers who were terribly angry, the DM person offered: “We value our customers.” Genuine feeling.

Working from home has been painful for many. If your job involves resisting frustration and anger, that can’t be easy. It’s like trolling all day with political people.

So many in technical messenger service have shown extraordinary patience and strength as they have tried to help the oppressed, angry and embarrassed – Verizon store staff has certainly resisted the latter.

I want to believe that Apple Support is used to all of this and just deletes it. But with a ton of complaints, I finally see a compelling reason for artificial innovation. Robots don’t feel something. Well, not yet.

However, some customers try to use a charm: “Salutations my beautifulliesssss @Apple, I think I lost one of my AirPods permanently how do I get the recovery to the one I can find a place but I can’t get a beat … not even on the one in the case … (I think the next set .. needs to sound outside too) now what? Tk u. ”

I saw no evidence that (this attempt at) charm prompted a more favorable response from Apple.