I have never studied or dealt with my grief: Priyanka Chopra Jonas on dealing with his father’s death

In her recently released memoir, actress-producer Priyanka Chopra Jonas has revealed that she fell into depression after the death of her father, a period that lasted about five years. until she made a conscious decision to move from a “gray world back to a world of vibrant color”.

The father of the 38-year-old actor, Dr. Ashok Chopra, a physician in the Indian Army, died on June 10, 2013, after a long battle with cancer at the age of 62. Chopra Jonas says she used her work as a medicine, putting her sadness and “a piece of my soul” into the sports drama “Mary Kom”, which was released in 2014. She was planning to start shooting for the film, produced by Sanjay Leela Bhansali , days after her father passed away.

“Five days after Dad’s death, the day after my father’s death, ‘Mary Kom’ was planning to start shooting, and although the film’s producer, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, offered to postpone the start date, the sense of responsibility and discipline that I would inherit from my father and his twenty – seven years in the army would not allow me to accept his offer…

“As usual, my job was to cure. I put every sadness and piece of my soul into that character and that movie. This is what made me and this is what allowed me to keep working, ”the actor writes in“ Unfinished, ”published by Penguin Random House India. Chopra Jonas also admits her “Krrish” co-star Hrithik Roshan, who used his connections at Air India in 2005-06 to immediately arrange for her father to fly to London where he was transferred on a flight to New York for further treatment. at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston.

After her father’s death, she says that she did not want to feel her terrible grief, so “I left emotionally”. This, Chopra Jonas adds, has been a way of dealing with pain ever since her school days. Her mother, Madhu Chopra, who was also a doctor in the Indian Army, pleaded with the actress to speak to a counselor.

Although she tried a few supplements, she says, she never found one that was right for her. The family, she says, tried to make sense of the sadness on a trip to Turks and Caicos in December 2013. “Apart from these few conversations with my family, however, I never did examine or deal with my grief. Instead, I tried to gain power through it. I was doing my best to be tough, but the reality is that I was burying my grief rather than coming to terms with it. ”

Almost three years later, she moved to New York to shoot the second season of the ABC series “Quantico”, her first Hollywood project. “I thought I might quit the sadness I still felt when I left Canada. Instead, I fell into depression. While I thought I had taken power through my grief, I was still carrying it with me, seemingly holding up my last of the agreement to keep it close to wherever I went, ” Chopra Jonas writes.

After months of canceling dinner plans with friends and staying in a cocoon, she spent Hogmanay 2017 at the place of her best friend. “I didn’t know for sure how to move from a gray world back to a world of vibrant color, but one day I figured out one simple thing to do: I could stop hiding and get back with life. ”

The actress also talks about her relationship with social media, saying that she has “started building my bats”. Looking back on the controversy over 2017 dress in Berlin when she was trolled online for being ‘in inappropriate clothing’ when she met PM Narendra Modi, who was then on tour four nations to Germany, Spain, Russia and France, she said she “respected me”.

“Because I was promoting Baywatch that day, I was in a dress, not a sari. He was knee-length, neck high, and slender long. When we posted the pictures to social media, there was a fur around that I was meeting the prime minister with my legs open… This was one of the first times I became a global news, and I swear that was not my way of making global news. I was angry and upset.

“My response to anger is to take a picture of my mother and me out at dinner that night in our short skirts and with our legs crossed, and post it online with the head ‘He runs in the family’. “Turn off the culture and social media shake-ups in many ways to stop her from having meaningful conversations with fans,” says Chopra Jonas.

“I’ve seen that there are times when you should talk, and times when it’s better not to. So I’ve started building my boats. ” She also talks about rumors about her plastic surgery that was widely published in 2001, which she says she underwent polyp treatment in her nasal cavity after she had a problem anal. “While shaking the polyp, the doctor also accidentally removed the bridge of my nose and the bridge collapsed. When it was time to remove the bands and reveal the condition of my nose, Mum and I were terrified. My original nose was gone. ”

The event was a public relations affair and was soon dubbed ‘Plastic Chopra’. “After the polypectomy I had several corrective examinations, and over time, my nose normalized. Although it took me a few years to see a stranger looking back at me every time I looked in the mirror, I have become accustomed to this face. ” She also writes that she was released from two major films – her “first acting works” – after the producers heard rumors that she looked different after surgery.

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