It’s too much
Photo: Ali Goldstein / ABC
Quick status update: Andrew DeLuca is gone and Meredith Gray is still on air conditioning because of COVID-19. The Gray Sloan Monument has hellishly gloomy issues and people succeed – or fail – in their own unique ways. Working, drinking, sex, crying (so much crying!), It all comes out after the death of one of their own. These doctors have been living through incessant pain and trauma since the onset of the pandemic and now some of them are reaching their true breaking points. Is it fun and cool, right ?!
Let’s start with Bailey, shall we? This woman has lost more than anyone should have and when we find her in “It’s All Too Much,” she is still processing DeLuca’s death. I mean, she’s still processing her mother’s death as well, which, you know, just happened. She is in a state and no one can blame her. She is, however, looking for answers. She is angry that no one came to get her until it was too late for her to do anything for DeLuca and she wants an autopsy report to make sure no mistakes were made. It’s a real slap in the face against Owen, Teddy, and Webber to some extent.
Richard Webber has a hard time as it is – he admits to Catherine that he has struggled with his faith and can’t understand the main reason for this – so make Bailey trying to relieve any grief or healing with an autopsy, that bothers him. When the autopsy report comes back as expected – DeLuca lost too much blood and it’s clear there was nothing they could do – Bailey then wants to organize a morbidity and mortality conference so that everyone can walk through what happened. That’s when Webber has to be tough. “Make them sad, for godsakes!” yells e rithe. Everyone in this hospital has been through enough and this would be a pain. He won’t let him.
It is Webber who finds a way to help his people mourn since they cannot bury him. (Jo jokes about a dress she bought for dates that she now has to wear to her friend ‘s funeral and it breaks down that even a funeral won’t be a real punch in the slit.) He establishes a monument outside the hospital.
Bailey almost misses her because she can’t get over what she’s feeling. Surprisingly, Schmitt comes to find her as she stands in the gallery above the OR where DeLuca died. She can’t be around anyone and she keeps it inside, you can see it on her face. Schmitt talks to her about Jewish traditions when it comes to mourning and how healthy they are. He reminds her that she lost her mother and DeLuca in the middle of a pandemic and she has to take time to mourn with the people she loves – and they need her too.
He gets to her. She goes over to that monument and finally admits to Webber that she needs time off to be with her family. And then she walks over and takes a big, long hook that Ben is expecting. The relief at this time is in sight!
DeLuca’s memory is simple, yet moving. They put together a video of people from the hospital saying nice things and telling stories about DeLuca. Carina is there. Bawling everyone. The end of the video is actually a snippet from DeLuca’s video application when he submitted to the Gray Sloan residency program. He tells how he was inspired to become a doctor by his sister, and how it would be an honor to work with the legendary surgeons of Gray Sloan and how he wants to do it to help others, he wants to do as much as he can. He died trying to do that, so that may be a comfort to lovers. It’s very emotional, although I’m still at the “very disturbing stage they killed this character for no good reason” of my personal grief process, so what do I know.
People need good news around this place. Hey, it looks like Meredith could be doing better: Teddy says Meredith ‘s last COVID test was negative and her lungs seem to be getting better. In fact, she wants to try to take her off the cooler. That’s good news!
Teddy and Hayes, who replaced DeLuca as Teddy’s right-hand man on the COVID unit, try to move Meredith off the hook, but it doesn’t work. Teddy, who seems to only be able to stand up and is pushing DeLuca all over the hospital, is devastated. How does this not work?
The answer is simple: It’s the freaking beach. Meredith is still hanging out in paradise in the perfect button-down shirt when Derek comes back. He’s standing in the ocean fishing, as Derek Shepherd does, and Meredith still can’t get nearby. It’s infuriating to be so close but not close enough. Derek reminds me that this is what she is doing, that it is the beach, and then they have a nice smile about how Meredith just loves to treat herself. It’s not wrong but also, I’m not at all in the mood for a cutesy MerDer dating right now.
Just kidding, of course I am!
Anyway, now that Meredith knows she has the power to change things here, she relaxes a bit and suddenly, Derek is just a little closer to her. In fact this means that, back in the real hell view of the world hospital, Meredith ‘s situation is getting worse.
There is only one point where she makes a few small improvements and that is after Hayes sits down by her bedside and starts telling her she needs to fight. She has to fight for her children and she has to fight for her friends. On the beach, Meredith starts to hear him and Derek tells her that she should go and listen to what he has to say – he waits for her when she ‘s ready. And so Meredith lets Hayes on the beach and she listens to him talk about the video chats her three children have been having with her and how amazing they are. “They need you, Gray,” he told her. “I know,” she replied. But she’s not sure if she can fight. She is so nice and pain free where she is.
For a moment, it looks like she could be fighting. But that moment is moving on. The next time we see Meredith and Derek on the beach, they are sitting closer than ever before. That can’t be good.
But wait! Maybe we’re worried about someone else’s health soon: Remember I mentioned Teddy hallucinating and looking insecure? It gets worse through the program. When everyone left after DeLuca’s memory, Owen found Teddy sitting alone on the sidewalk. She doesn’t respond to anything he says, she just stares. Owen needs to accomplish it physically. There is something very wrong with Teddy.
• Maggie (and Winston, who now has benefits!) Work on a patient who is afraid of getting COVID. Fearing that he will not let any of the doctors or nurses touch him and as they are about to work, he showers out and runs out of the OR, stripped naked. They find him crouched in a corner of a staircase and he opens up about a friend who was completely healthy, who caught COVID, and who died within a week. Maggie, thinking of DeLuca, gives a moving talk to the patient about how we are “in debt to the people we lost to live the life they can’t. ”It’s good.
• Okay, Helm and Maggie’s back hook hit hard. People need physical communication!
• Amelia finds a whiskey that Link has been hiding and when she explains that this is too much and needs a few drinks in the garage – the man takes care of four children all the time. days due to a pandemic and his friends are dying, so it seems reasonable – it will be a big argument. A connection breaks the heart of so many of us when he tells Amelia that she sometimes drives him and then he goes to Jo for a little drink during the day. He spends the day campaigning about his current situation, but after DeLuca’s memory he just wants to go home to Amelia. She just wants to keep secrets from each other. Appears easy enough, right?
• Wait, so Jo isn’t going to take Luna ?! What are we doing here, people ?? Have we moved on from this so quickly? TBD. She has, however, started telling people about her desire to move to OB, so that feels real.
• Catherine’s latest cancer scan showed no growth! That ‘s good news in the midst of all this sadness and gloom, isn’t it?
• If you are not emotionally harassed: Zola writes letters to her father in her magazine. Seo! Baby!
• I’m not saying I have superpowers or anything, but I’m saying that I may have revealed this happening last week. Welcome, #Japril ‘shippers! Now I will begin my work on getting Cristina Yang back in Seattle. We need her.
• Meredith’s kids dance out too!